Idealists say that ethics is all about choosing what is good from what is not. The practical individual would argue, ethics is choosing the better of the two evils for the so called ‘greater good’!
Few years back, I had an experience with ‘choosing the better’. I was riding my bike back from my friend’s home and I had to catch a bus to go to my college for my exams. On the way, I heard a cry which made me slow down. I looked back but found nothing except a bicycle fallen into a road side pit filled with rainwater. I could have turned my back to that and got home early to catch my bus. Instead, I parked my bike aside, lifted the bicycle off the road and found a kid, not more than ten years old, in the pit, trying to take a few more breaths, fighting to stick its head out of the muddy water. I was shocked to see the horror in the child’s face. Without losing more time, I pulled him out of the pit. He was crying. I thought he had hurt himself. I scanned his body and found nothing more than a few bruises here and there. I checked with him whether he was able to move his limbs. He could. I finally discovered that he feared the rage of his father if he comes to know that this kid has broken his bicycle. I felt so sorry for this kid that I went with him to his home. Throughout the way, he was sobbing and I was trying to make him feel happy. I was surprised to see that sometimes even chocolates fail to do the trick!
When we reached his house, the kid’s mother was worried seeing a stranger with her son. Once I told her that the kid had met with an accident and I brought him here, the mother, in a flash, came to the boy and with utmost care hugged the kid, lest it would get hurt. She took her time to check for any wounds and disregarded the results of my prior examination. In the mean while his father barged into the room on hearing the word, ‘accident’. He glanced at the boy from distance and I felt was satisfied with the kid standing on his feet. The father then ran out of the house. Immediately the kid started crying. Of course, the father went to check the bicycle. The next moment, we could hear him calling names and swearing by his own son. As he ran back into the room, I prepared myself. Just as he was about to hit the kid, I screamed that I was the reason why the kid fell from his bicycle. The big mouthed man turned towards me and hurled at me slangs and I was feeling happy that I could at least save the kid. Just then I was surprised that the kid again started crying and this time only louder. The kid all of a sudden yelled at his father that I was not involved with his accident and I was trying to help him. The kid shouted not to embarrass him any further and better hit him than use bad words at someone who had helped him. I was completely awestruck. A ten year old speaking out what many grownups can’t – truth. I realized then that age doesn’t rule over ethical behaviours. His father’s anger vanished and I knew that he was feeling ashamed of himself having insulted me without getting to the truth. I decided to leave without causing further embarrassment. I could see the peace in the kid’s eye and the pride in the father’s heart as I left. This was one of my most memorable trysts with ‘goodness’.
We come across newspaper photographs where a man is bleeding to death in a road accident. I always wonder about the photographer. How would he have felt taking a snap when he could have helped the injured person? Every day, we come across articles where news agencies rip apart the personal issues of celebrities and give us topics to gossip about during tea breaks. How many times have we seen pages being devoted to Sachin Tendulkar on how he devoted about fifteen minutes in a cricket coaching club with a few kids and then the next day when he fails to score a century, he is thrashed by the same news agency. They comment on his need for retirement and question his motive to play cricket. Then they blame the audience for making Sachin a God, so powerful that even the selectors are frightened of. Is playing the blame game very ethical? If the news agencies of a country are involved in such unethical activities themselves, how do they expect the rest of the country to behave differently? Corruption is not just accepting bribes; it is influencing people in an illegitimate way. So if the media is influencing the people to believe something that they didn’t want to, the media is participating in active corruption.
What do we think of B schools claiming hundred percent placement each year when the truth is there are always some left overs. How do these left overs feel when they see that the institute continues to cheat more pupil to enroll for their program by claiming that all had got placed? Are such practices ethical? These practices cannot be legal, let alone being ethical. But yet these have become the ‘best practices’ of the educational industry.
You might have read in newspapers how farmers who have drenched themselves in huge loans ultimately kill themselves. Pity to their family members that their Man was ethical, that he didn’t ‘sin’ to feed his family. Did the farmer do the right thing? What would happen to his family now after his death? Will his family be rewarded for his morals and ethics? Will they lead a happy life? No. They would rather be looked down upon. This man with all his ethics could not make his family happy in his whole life and even after his death. Would his own family be pleased with him that he was ethical and therefore he killed himself leaving them to fight the harsh world all alone rather than getting money to feed them?
I know of a boy, Rishab, who had come to attend the funeral of his father. The relatives of the deceased were pouring in and offering white daisies to his grave as a symbol of respect. They are placing garlands and incense sticks around the grave. But would Rishab do the same knowing that his father was allergic to the scent of flowers, especially daisy? He won’t. He, on the other hand, buried a box of ‘Pan’ (Beetle) beside his father’s grave. ‘How unethical he is?’, some thought aloud. People were convinced that he was a mental patient. He would be treated as a sinner. Only Rishab knows how much his father loved ‘Pan’ and what he did was nothing insane. Every son would love to gift his father the things that their father liked. What Rishab did was ethical to him. The ethics of society should not come in between him and his father.
In my family, I saw my grandmother die. She was eighty five and two years back she had fought cancer and emerged victorious. But since then her health had continuously deteriorated. My father is a doctor and he used to take care of his mother the way any son should. She got weaker each day until one day she stopped responding to the food that was served to her. She was admitted again. After about seven long days, my father decided to discontinue medical treatment to her. He brought her back home. She had her last breath on her own bed in her own room after another two days. I saw my father cry like a child when he was informing the other relatives about this mishap. But somewhere beneath his wet eyes, I could feel the happiness that he experienced – the happiness to serve his mother well, by reducing all agonies of her, be it even by giving her a peaceful death. What is ethical to society sometimes can be questionable to an individual. I know what my father did was correct but would the whole society mirror my feelings?
We see advertisements in TV, in newspapers, roadside hoardings and where not. Do we believe them? Of course not. Do we get influenced by these advertisements? Yes, on more than one occasion. So the question is where do we need to draw a line? When brands advertise that by using a particular product you can lose weight by 15kg in one month, they are selling hope. When brands claim that you would get fairer by applying a particular cream, aren’t they discriminating against people who are not fair? Is this not racist? Is this ethical? Brands are selling that what is not theirs – our dreams. Is this fair?
When a man chooses to know the ultimate truth, he renounces everything he has – his society, his home, his job, his parents, his wife and his children. He becomes a hermit. But is he fulfilling his responsibility towards his family? Should we call this ‘a sacrifice for the greater good’? Or should we not argue that this is selfishness ahead of selflessness? Attain self-realization by dumping the very family without which you have no identity?
I would like to conclude this self-appraisal by sharing another of my experience. This is about two years back when I was returning home from Chennai. I saw an old couple board the train from a small station. The train was crowded and there was no place to sit. People were standing in queues, waiting for their turn to take a seat when the co-passengers get down. I saw a young lady coming towards me. She squeezed her way through the crowd and shot a smile at me. I knew she was doing all this to get a seat and I had made up my mind to help the old couple to get a seat and not this girl. So I did not entertain the gestures of this lady and I simply ignored her. I waited for the old couple to reach my seat and I immediately offered them my seat. The couple looked very tired and they slowly seated themselves. I helped them load their luggage into the luggage compartment. They were very pleased with me. They blessed me a thousand times and I felt a joy like never before. I was pleased with myself to have done the right thing. But was that ethical? Had I not gone out of the way to help the couple and had I just helped the young lady who came to my seat first, I would have still done the right thing with respect to the society. I would have helped a young lady travelling in a jam packed compartment get a seat. But did I not chose the better option?
Ultimately, I would say that the longer you make others smile, the happier you get. This peace makes you realize the ultimate reality – goodness in our hearts.
